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Common Questions

HOW DO I KNOW IF IT’S RIGHT FOR ME?

This more intensive approach to counseling is particularly suited for you if:

  • Talk Therapy Hasn't Been Enough

  • You Have Strong Emotional Reactions

  • You Need to Get To The Other Side Of Your Problems ASAP

  • Your Emotions Get In The Way 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW IS THIS DIFFERENT FROM TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE COUNSELING?

 

Traditional marriage counseling is set up on a 45-minutes-a-week talk therapy model.  Traditional marriage counseling works perfectly well for couples who don't have hot-button issues that trigger strong emotions.  When you try to squeeze strong emotions in a 45-minute box one of two things happens:

  • FRUSTRATION - You never get to the root and the core 

  • UPSET - You leave each session more upset than when you came in

 

 


TOP-DOWN VS. BOTTOM-UP


The other reason that traditional marriage counseling fails to fully resolve real hot-button issues is that it focuses on the wrong part of your brain.  You can divide your brain into two parts: Your THINKING BRAIN - which is the only part of your brain that has language and your EMOTIONAL BRAIN - which is just a set of memories, emotions and reactions.





Traditional talk therapy is a TOP-DOWN approach that focuses on helping your thinking brain to control your emotions.  95% of counselors practice some form of top-down talk therapy. 









I use a blend of BOTTOM-UP approaches that help you to fully resolve the emotional roots of your issues, clearing out your emotional brain so that you can think clearly.  





WHAT IS THE GOAL OF COUNSELING?

  • PEFECT PEACE - I want you and your spouse to be able to talk about the most sensitive, hot button issues without even a hint of hurt, anger or resentment.
  • LOVE, ACCEPTANCE & RESPECT - I want you to be able to deal with the biggest challenges in your relationship from a place of mutual love, acceptance and respect.
  • MARRIAGE FRIENDLY COUNSELING - Many traditional marriage therapists are quick to suggest or even encourage divorce.  I will do whatever it takes to fight for your marriage.

 

HOW DO I START? 

Your first step into a new chapter of your relationship starts with your initial 90-minute evaluation.  You begin with psychological testing so that we can get a good baseline of any depression, anxiety, anger and relationship problems. The two of you will then meet together with me to do an emotional evaluation, a set of exercises designed to help you:

  • ROOT CAUSES - Uncover root causes and hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your relationship.
  • PERSONAL MINOR MIRACLE - Create a personal minor miracle, a crystal clear vision of how your life and relationship can change for the better once you eliminate your problems at the root.
  • NEW TOOLS - Learn new tools that the two of you can begin to use immediately to control unwanted reactions.
  • NEW HOPE - Leave the session renewed, reenergized and inspired. 


At the end of the initial evaluation I will custom tailor a treatment program designed to get the two of you to your
 personal minor miracle as quickly as humanly possible.  Treatment programs are usually a combination of 90-minute and 3-hour sessions. Usually, the stronger your emotions, the longer the sessions need to be if you are going to make real progress. 


 

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN COUNSELING?

In the initial evaluation I will help you to map out the emotional roots of your issue and the strengths of your relationship.  Then, in each session after that I use techniques designed to help people to fully resolve major life traumas like being raped or military combat - the big ”T” traumas of life  - to help you to fully resolve any big or small obstacles, emotional baggage or emotional wounds that trigger hurt, anger and resentment.  


HOW SOON CAN I START?  

 

I reserve 12:30 pm - 2 pm on Mondays and Thursdays for initial evaluations.  If you can come during these times I can usually get you in for an initial evaluation in 1-3 weeks.  If that time doesn't work for you, I will be happy to accomodate your schedule but it may take longer to get you in.   

 

 

WHAT IF I HAVE FURTHER QUESTIONS?

 

Click the appointment request button and I will be happy to call you.  I usually call between 830-9am any day except Tuesday.  If that time doesn’t work for you then give me as many days and times as possible and we will find a time that works for you. 


 

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